hanya pada Allah sahaja penyerahanku

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alhamdulillah wasyukurillah
thanks God
for giving me this opportunity
im goin back home
guess what??
this so terrible n horrible.
but mama's voice supports me!!
thanks mama!!!
when the rains comes on maghrib
i hope Allah makbulkan my doa
actually im totally wrong



sedih ini bukan kepalang
nanges nanges sampai tak leh bercaka
kenapa?
itu jadik masalah
setiap hAri aku gelak terbahak bahak kat sekolah
dah tiba masa untuk aku nanges teresak esak laa plak kan?
semalam minta pulang dari ustaz aziz dengan harapan dapat menghantar nenek dan atukk dan su ke airrport
apakan daya
angkara sidia
aku menangis
ya Allah
bukan kepalang kesakitan dibahagian hati ni
rasa nak robek robek
buang jauh jauh
tapi apa boleh buat
semua itu ujian dari Yang Kuasa
sabar +redha sahaja
malam itu berlagu sepi rupanya
tangisan yang berderau derau berlalu pergi
meninggalkan nenek dan atuk dan su tanpa searang salam sayang
padahal aku terlalu berkeinginan melakukan sedemikian

aku redha
mama suruh
mama pesan
jangan salahkan dia
doakan sahaja dia dapat balasan Tuhan satu hari nanti
atas apa yang dia buat kat kita
mama sabar sahaja
tapi penceramah pesan doakan dia supaya dbukakan hatinya untuk menerima ISLam secara syumul
malam itu
aku bersolat maghribkhusyuk sekali
sambil basahn telekung mengelap pipi
air mata bak air terjun ta habis habis lagi
Tuhan..
jika itu takdirnya aku berada di sini
aku relakan sahaja
jika itu Kau berikan aku ujian
aku redhainya apa apa yang Kau campakkan kepada aku
saat itu kudiamkan sahaja
aku masih sedih
dia membisu tanpa sebarang masalah
padahal mama masih gelabah
melihat anak anak menangisi pemergian nenek dan atuk dan su hanya di pintu rumah!
sampai sekarang
mata masih pedih
aku sambung kehidupanku sebagai manusia redha
bertemankan buku kimia ku berdoa
"YA ALLAH,
KAU MAHA MEMBERI PETUNJUK
TOLONG HAMBAMU INI,
BUKAKANLAH PINTU HATINYA UNTUK BERTAUBAT KEPADAMU
AKU TERIMA SEADANYA DIA
AKU REDHA DIA HIDUP DALM DUNIAKU
TAPI KU TAK SANGGUP MELIHAT AKAN DOSA YANG DILAKUKANNYA
YA ALLAH
HANYA PADAMU KU PINTA"

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