Goodbye 2021

The half of 2021 would be the most challenging year to me. I am really affected by my own emotion. Here's the summaries of what happened *to me in 2021

January: Started to deep explore on emotional release. There comes Young Living into my life. 

End of January: Received 2021 salary adjustment and it was RM100 increment? Down teruk. With the tears and sweats working and graduated with Master, the management upgrade my salary with RM100? So yeah more reason to earn more with Young Living. 

February-April: The covid19 cases keep increasing erratically. But people still playing tourist like nobody business. Yeah no restriction made by the gov as if it still controble. 

May: covid19 reach 5k of cases daily. Everyones start to panic. Our office started work from home again. Slowly the gov has made it mandatory to register for vaccination. 

June: The hunger games for Az registration

11th June *the highlight*:  When everyone were obligatory to stay at home, there comes the same 10 years ago guy. Ya know who. The one I lost connection and dream every single day to meet. He came and reconnect us. Started with lame and awkward introduction coz ya its been awhile since our last communicate. The next week on 19 June he came to Su's house to risik. He ever asked my ring size beforehand. Lol. Hah cepatkan! From there we started to do 100 premarital questions through phone call and text. Some answers were fake and like interview one but I just ignored it because I know maybe he will change with time. 

2nd July: The usual phone call. But this time he wanted to come to my house for tunang. Ya another suprise. Btw, the MCO still happened and state-cross still prohibited except permission letter from the police. He got the permission since he need to travel to Seremban due to his grandfather admission to hospital. Unfortunately, his kakak got covid he needs to rush home and swab and quarantine. The conversation still there.

12th July: He came back to Penang, his workplace and settle all the resignation thingy. He stays at his old rental house but stays outside. We still communicate

26th July: His first day at new workplace as Senior Eng at **. Ya ya we communicate as usual.

3rd September: Received my first gift from him. Erm thought it was a flower but nevermind. This month I feel the ups and down coz we ignored each other and he ignored me for too long. He started to move to new house in Seberang and going back and forth to the old house to settle down. That moment I feel strange but I dont its an issue. 

End of September: Started to feel anxious day by day. The communication fade away. We had a long phone call to solve this. But no solution. He blamed the MCO and wish to travel to KL to meet us. He said I am not his priority now. But hey! How come the communication get drained day by day? From that day I got the anxiety. Cried for no reason. Even busy in front of pc I can get easily cried. Lol so pathetic. 

17th October: The state-travel restriction has been lifted on 11th Oct. We met @ Mines to solve our miscommunication. But guess what. He gives a few reasons or I would say it was excuses and planned not to tie the knot for the time being. I hope he would give a firm decision for us. But still hanging. But he already prepared our tunang ring. So confused. I thought after that we continue as usual but nope, he keep ghosting me. The anxiety get worse

Tired of typing this time. So he gives more and more excused then left me hanging. 

Someday in November: His brother suddenly texted me to get a risik ring back from me☹that moment got a huge fight with my mom coz she blamed me all the time. Yes, he blocked my phone call.

Tried to ignore the emotion. Tried to do other things to forgot this. But hey it wont worked until he say something for a closure. 

Finally my achievement for 2021 is I got Ex for the 2nd time. Heres the irony

The tunang ring cant fit me and kahwin pulak tak jadi

The relationship only happened within the MCO period. By the time MCO ended, the relationship also end with hanging. 

Ok lets continue be single like i always do.

I planned to find another job hopefully found one suits me. 

Bismillah 2022