all about first

By -





this is my first time creating a blog....
this is my first time felt very happy
this is my first time im missing Allah
this is my first time im feeling equaminity
this is my first year im feeling responsible
this is my first time wearing blue post
this my first year i love all my friends(accept for f3 08)
this is my time felt very very very guilty
this is my first time felt so shy
i
hope all my first will be the last.....haha
this is not my long journey...
i'll be meeting with Allah soon..
in Syurga...
i hope so.
i hope someone i loved also been there...
mama, abah, adik2, friends,_ _ _ _ _...(let it be my secret..kih3)
mmg seyes my feeling towards him going very strong ta tawu ar nape...
bcoz dye knl aku since year 1 kott
tp mmg btol ar tuh...
kene jihad ssekor neh...
kene kawal nafsu..
mane boleilangkan perasaan ske
sbb tuh fitrah....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye 2021

By -
The half of 2021 would be the most challenging year to me. I am really affected by my own emotion. Here's the summaries of what happened *to me in 2021 January: Started to deep explore on emotional release. There comes Young Living into my life.  End of January: Received 2021 salary adjustment and it was RM100 increment? Down teruk. With the tears and sweats working and graduated with Master, the management upgrade my salary with RM100? So yeah more reason to earn more with Young Living.  February-April: The covid19 cases keep increasing erratically. But people still playing tourist like nobody business. Yeah no restriction made by the gov as if it still controble.  May: covid19 reach 5k of cases daily. Everyones start to panic. Our office started work from home again. Slowly the gov has made it mandatory to register for vaccination.  June: The hunger games for Az registration 11th June *the highlight* :  When everyone were obligatory to stay at home, there come...
another.....

Victim or Guilty?

By -
Image
It's Sunday afternoon. I am at home having a usual routine; sleep read eat and repeat. But today got extra energy to write. Here comes the entry. While I was having my usual cleansing face and several thoughts come in between. I stumbled upon the thought of what happened to me previously and puting all the blame in my hand. As I rub my face gently clockwise, I listed out what have I done in my previous relationship, which I shouldnt do at the first place: 1) I cling onto him too much until he feel uncomfortable and pushed him away. I started to sulk over a smallest thing. Only if I refrain myself from doing that, maybe he didnt walk away.   2) I demand for the closure too presistant. Actually I was not asking for a closure, I want him to not give up on us that easily. At the end, he ghosted me and ignore my existence.  Should I apologize for my wrongdoing? We'll see.. I rinsed my face and take a thorough glance at the mirror.. counting how many fungal acne have presented ...
another.....

Is it real end?

By -
I dreamt of you two days ago. You met me just to invite me to your wedding. I woke up with tears. The nightmare ruined my entire day. What should I do? I am too far from my inner journey. I keep holding on things that I shouldn't. I keep minding his business that wont comfort me at all. What has gotten into me?  But today might be the day I've been waiting for. I did my everyday routine but this time, I had my final closure. I saw your photo with your new +1. Attending other people's wedding. Of course I was speechless. It just a few months after the break up. You've already forget about us? After a long long years of waiting, a short short time of reconnecting, a simple-too simple of ending.. you've found your "soulmate"? While me struggling everyday to work on myself, to push myself with live, to pretend everything is not happened. I realize, I was yet to move on. I am still waiting for the answer-to get back and apology.  What should I do? I'm all d...
another.....